Ok, I have gotten some ideas and suggestions from readers about topics that need to be aired, but perhaps don't fit into the whole "7" concept. Most of them are just short topics or frustrations that just don't make any sense. But that shouldn't keep them from being put out there. Some readers have even asked if they could write one up and have it posted. I'm very fine with that. If you have one that you'd like to see put up here, then send it to me and I'll put it up (I'll even hide your identity if you're too scared to attach your name to it). Heck most of you won't even post a comment (chickens!!!) Send it to ldstruthteller@gmail.com.
So, here's one that I thought we would start with this one: Calling secrecy! Why is that our church culture feels the need to guard up-coming callings a secret? I mean, we Mormons will flat out lie to one another just so that they don't know that we have been asked to accept a calling. You would think that receiving a calling was akin to a temple ceremony...It's a lovely part of our obedience to the commandments or not...Leviticus 6:1-4, "And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, If a soul sin, and commit a trespass against the LORD, and lie unto his neighbour…or hath deceived his neighbour…and lieth concerning it, and sweareth falsely; in any of all these that a man doeth, sinning therein: Then it shall be, because he hath sinned, and is guilty."
I mean who hasn't been in this situation: Your neighbor meets with a bishopric member on Wednesday night. You know that they have some callings to fill as some ward members are moving out. You casually ask, "So, what did they want to meet with you about?" Neighbor says, "Oh nothing." Seems fishy. You counter, "Don't they have a bunch of open callings? Are you getting a calling on Sunday?" Neighbor responds, "Oh no. We were just umm, umm, umm chatting about my kids baptism next...year."
What's the worst that could happen if they told you? Oh no! Somebody knows I'm going to be the CTR 6 primary teacher 2 days before they sustain me in church--aaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! The church isn't true anymore. People know and that means that....I don't know but it can't be good. I don't even know if I should put it in my journal yet!!! Yikes!
Or how about something like this: You're about to be released from a significant leadership calling because you're moving to a different state. You're thinking, boy it would be nice to communicate with the new person before I leave so that I can share some useful information with them. So you ask the bishopric member --who is being called? Most times they will get either a panicked or annoyed face and thenstonewall. They want to say, "I can't tell you because it's a secret" but even they know that sounds stupid. So they say something about "We're still working on it..." or the like. But the thing is the person being called, has been called and accepted. There's no mystery here--Sunday just hasn't happened next.
Really, what difference does it make? How will it hurt anything? I understand the whole thing about not publicizing who was asked and either did not accept or wasn't able to accept for some reason. I don't even have a problem with the bishopric member saying something like, "Hey while it is not a secret, I'd appreciate you keeping this on a need to know basis because..." But I defy someone to explain why we have to keep up-coming callings a temple-like secret.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Truth #2 for YM about dating and marriage
No, you didn’t meet in heaven before you came to Earth…
Today we're going to help you do a little reality check before you propose to that girl that you've been dating for the last 3 weeks. Let's see if you are seeing things clearly...
She’s sweet. She is a pretty young woman. She is a righteous Latter Day Saint and wants what you want: to get married and start a family. But it’s even better than that. She is fun, she likes your jokes and thinks that the stupid handshake thing you do with your roommates is funny. She kisses you every time she see’s you and kisses you as much as you want. When it’s time to go watch a movie, you want to watch the same one-it’s like she’s the other half of your brain!
It’s incredible. You like the same music. TV watching is a breeze because you both love the same shows (Survivor, American Idol, and House!). As you talk about the future you find out that you both want the same number of kids. You both want to have 5 kids and name the first girl Khaylee Mackenzie (you even agree on the spelling!!!! OMG). There’s no way this is just good luck—it’s like it is destiny or fate. It's like she was created just for you and that you've just been passing time until you found her. It’s like you met her before you came to Earth—cue the Saturday’s Warrior soundtrack.
Well guess what? Dumb luck has smiled on you. I don’t know exactly what happened in the pre-existence, but I think that it’s highly unlikely that you met in heaven in the pre-existence, fell in love, then both came to Earth at the relative same time, were born in the same part of the world and ended up in circumstances that allowed you to meet and fall in love (again). Actually, I do know what happened in the pre-existence and we weren't on the pre-mortality dating circuit (I'll fill you in on the pre-existence on another day).
The highly likely truth is that there is no such thing as "one and only" true loves. The fact is that there are thousands of girls that you can be happily married to and many, if not most, of them will develop into a soul mate whom you feel like you couldn't live without. There is no destiny, no fate, no "remember to look for me when we get to earth" storylines.
I have to admit I can't wait for the responses to this one--nothing stirs the anger of the XX chromosome like attacking romantic love and destiny, etc. "What do you mean? Don't you love your wife?!?! I KNOW I was supposed to marrying Bob..."
First young man, let's look at the circumstances of your current relationship. Remember, you met her in that science lab—the Tuesday-Thursday science lab that you ended up registering for only because you couldn’t take a Monday-Wednesday afternoon lab because it interferred with you video game schedule. Sorry, but the Holy Ghost did not prompt to play Halo on your XBox to arrange this chance encounter. Enough of the sarcasm. The great girl you met 3 weeks ago probably isn’t your predestined, eternal soulmate. You shouldn’t go ahead and propose to her next weekend and get married in two months during the Christmas break.
Why are you so anxious to pair up? Why does your heart seem to scream “She’s the one!” Well, let’s review the obvious. You just spent two years telling anyone who would listen to you that having an eternal family is the ultimate source of joy, so you want to get married. She wants to get married. You’re probably between the ages of 21-25 and a virgin and that means you want to have sex. She is cute. As a good LDS, you can’t have sex without marriage. She seems like she is totally into you. You want to have sex. And it’s going so well. Did I mention that you have want to do the thing that makes babies?
I can’t wrap my head around eternity. But I can tell you what ten years is like and I can guess what 60-70 years is like. And while after 5 dates in the span of 9 days everything seems perfect and like she is everything you’ve been dreaming of, it’s not enough to know how it’s going to go for the long haul. And she doesn't know how you really act when you're not trying to impress her. Heck, you probably don’t even know how she handles her menstrual cycle. You need time to figure out whether you like each other when you're each on your not-so-good behavior. You need to know if you can sit together and not talk (or kiss) and be comfortable around one another. You need to see if you like being with one another after you run out of good date ideas. You need to see if you still want to be with her after you find out that the one hottie in your singles ward is now available and wants to go out with you. Take your time.
Last but not least, let's dispel the most controversial not-highly-likely truth related to this subject. Just because you get a good feeling when you prayed about marrying this girl, don't get the dumb idea that she is "THE ONE". The highly likely truth is that there is no such thing as "one and only" true loves and that means that when Heavenly Father gives you the green light after prayer all he is saying is that "Yes, this would be ok with me" (try saying that in a deep, steady voice--it actually works). We'll expand this topic one day but remember Heavenly Father doesn't only have a vocabulary limited to "yes" and no-answer (he's deity for Pete's sake!). So, she is not the one you have to marry. You simply can marry her. And she may very well be the one you ought to marry, but that doesn't mean that you have to do it right away, you know.
What you need to keep in mind is, happy hunting, take your time, and if the courtship doesn't make it to the temple doors, don't lose heart. She wasn't "THE ONE".
Today we're going to help you do a little reality check before you propose to that girl that you've been dating for the last 3 weeks. Let's see if you are seeing things clearly...
She’s sweet. She is a pretty young woman. She is a righteous Latter Day Saint and wants what you want: to get married and start a family. But it’s even better than that. She is fun, she likes your jokes and thinks that the stupid handshake thing you do with your roommates is funny. She kisses you every time she see’s you and kisses you as much as you want. When it’s time to go watch a movie, you want to watch the same one-it’s like she’s the other half of your brain!
It’s incredible. You like the same music. TV watching is a breeze because you both love the same shows (Survivor, American Idol, and House!). As you talk about the future you find out that you both want the same number of kids. You both want to have 5 kids and name the first girl Khaylee Mackenzie (you even agree on the spelling!!!! OMG). There’s no way this is just good luck—it’s like it is destiny or fate. It's like she was created just for you and that you've just been passing time until you found her. It’s like you met her before you came to Earth—cue the Saturday’s Warrior soundtrack.
Well guess what? Dumb luck has smiled on you. I don’t know exactly what happened in the pre-existence, but I think that it’s highly unlikely that you met in heaven in the pre-existence, fell in love, then both came to Earth at the relative same time, were born in the same part of the world and ended up in circumstances that allowed you to meet and fall in love (again). Actually, I do know what happened in the pre-existence and we weren't on the pre-mortality dating circuit (I'll fill you in on the pre-existence on another day).
The highly likely truth is that there is no such thing as "one and only" true loves. The fact is that there are thousands of girls that you can be happily married to and many, if not most, of them will develop into a soul mate whom you feel like you couldn't live without. There is no destiny, no fate, no "remember to look for me when we get to earth" storylines.
I have to admit I can't wait for the responses to this one--nothing stirs the anger of the XX chromosome like attacking romantic love and destiny, etc. "What do you mean? Don't you love your wife?!?! I KNOW I was supposed to marrying Bob..."
First young man, let's look at the circumstances of your current relationship. Remember, you met her in that science lab—the Tuesday-Thursday science lab that you ended up registering for only because you couldn’t take a Monday-Wednesday afternoon lab because it interferred with you video game schedule. Sorry, but the Holy Ghost did not prompt to play Halo on your XBox to arrange this chance encounter. Enough of the sarcasm. The great girl you met 3 weeks ago probably isn’t your predestined, eternal soulmate. You shouldn’t go ahead and propose to her next weekend and get married in two months during the Christmas break.
Why are you so anxious to pair up? Why does your heart seem to scream “She’s the one!” Well, let’s review the obvious. You just spent two years telling anyone who would listen to you that having an eternal family is the ultimate source of joy, so you want to get married. She wants to get married. You’re probably between the ages of 21-25 and a virgin and that means you want to have sex. She is cute. As a good LDS, you can’t have sex without marriage. She seems like she is totally into you. You want to have sex. And it’s going so well. Did I mention that you have want to do the thing that makes babies?
I can’t wrap my head around eternity. But I can tell you what ten years is like and I can guess what 60-70 years is like. And while after 5 dates in the span of 9 days everything seems perfect and like she is everything you’ve been dreaming of, it’s not enough to know how it’s going to go for the long haul. And she doesn't know how you really act when you're not trying to impress her. Heck, you probably don’t even know how she handles her menstrual cycle. You need time to figure out whether you like each other when you're each on your not-so-good behavior. You need to know if you can sit together and not talk (or kiss) and be comfortable around one another. You need to see if you like being with one another after you run out of good date ideas. You need to see if you still want to be with her after you find out that the one hottie in your singles ward is now available and wants to go out with you. Take your time.
Last but not least, let's dispel the most controversial not-highly-likely truth related to this subject. Just because you get a good feeling when you prayed about marrying this girl, don't get the dumb idea that she is "THE ONE". The highly likely truth is that there is no such thing as "one and only" true loves and that means that when Heavenly Father gives you the green light after prayer all he is saying is that "Yes, this would be ok with me" (try saying that in a deep, steady voice--it actually works). We'll expand this topic one day but remember Heavenly Father doesn't only have a vocabulary limited to "yes" and no-answer (he's deity for Pete's sake!). So, she is not the one you have to marry. You simply can marry her. And she may very well be the one you ought to marry, but that doesn't mean that you have to do it right away, you know.
What you need to keep in mind is, happy hunting, take your time, and if the courtship doesn't make it to the temple doors, don't lose heart. She wasn't "THE ONE".
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Truth #1 for YW about dating and marriage
He’s like a silly, faithful puppy
There’s a reason that they often refer to as young people dating as puppy love. It’s cute and innocent and sweet. It’s fun to imagine and think about. Old people reminisce about the days when they were young. Your first crush holds a special place in most people’s memories. Just like a puppy. Puppies are cute and sweet and they just seem like so much fun. We all remember our first puppy. When you play with a puppy, they just can’t seem to get enough of you. They make you happy. You see where I am going with this, don’t you?
The sad fact is that the 18 to 19 year old boy you’re dating is a puppy. He’s not the “man of your dreams”. He’s not close to becoming a man (even if he does have to shave every day). He’s not even useful like a steer, mule, or horse. He can barely afford to pay for his gas and take you places. But on the bright side, he is a bouncing puppy dog. And puppies are cute and fun!
But before you decide that this is the puppy that you want to keep forever, let’s keep a few things in mind. The boy you are dating now is just a puppy. He has the emotional and physical maturity of a puppy. He thinks of little more than eating, playing with toys, sleeping, and licking and kissing girl puppies (c’mon, this is a family friendly blog…). He even bounces around like a puppy when he is around you.
And while he is cute in his own way, let’s not confuse him with Brad Pitt. Just like a puppy is cute because of his oversized paws and big floppy ears, your boyfriend is likely to be a little pimply, a little pencil-neck like. He probably has big oversized paws, too.
Now this puppy really likes you (even when he pretends not to—that’s part of playing that he’s so into). Like the puppy in the window at the pet store that is sure that every passerby is going to stop and take him home, your puppy has the same sort of stupid, ignorant faith in a warm smile.
And like a cuuute little puuupppy (insert image of you cuddling a little pooch), you love him very much and want to see him bounce around and wag his tail ferociously. You notice the more you stroke his head and pay attention to him, he wags his tail even more. Encouraged by this, you want to seal that bond by letting him know that you’ll take good care of him and make him happy. So, you might say something like, “I love you and I’ll wait for you to come back from your mission.”
Now that’s just mean—see Truth #1 for Young Men. He thinks that you’re going to wait for him. He’s a puppy, so he doesn’t know any better. You might figure, “this dumb little puppy is going to grow up one day and figure it out, isn’t he?” Unfortunately, he probably won’t.
Now, you aren’t obligated to wait for him. You can dump him. In many ways, it might be the best thing that you could do for him. First, he ought to be concentrating on what he’s doing (serving a mission hopefully); second, you need to go through at least one or two relationships before you get married. You’re probably his first steady girlfriend, so you’re going to help him go through the process.
Dumping him is good for you, too. We’ll discuss this in detail in later chapters, but you’re going to trade up to something better and you need a little time to refine and prepare, too. The good news for you is that the men you will choose from will have forgotten about being a puppy (and their experience of being dropped off at the pound by a girlfriend). In fact, they are eager to reap a revenge of sorts and marry someone just like you as soon as they can.
So, play with your puppy. Enjoy your puppy now because he won’t always be a cute, weird little fur ball. Don’t make him think you’re going to take him home from the pet store. And look forward to the day when you’ll find something worth keeping.
There’s a reason that they often refer to as young people dating as puppy love. It’s cute and innocent and sweet. It’s fun to imagine and think about. Old people reminisce about the days when they were young. Your first crush holds a special place in most people’s memories. Just like a puppy. Puppies are cute and sweet and they just seem like so much fun. We all remember our first puppy. When you play with a puppy, they just can’t seem to get enough of you. They make you happy. You see where I am going with this, don’t you?
The sad fact is that the 18 to 19 year old boy you’re dating is a puppy. He’s not the “man of your dreams”. He’s not close to becoming a man (even if he does have to shave every day). He’s not even useful like a steer, mule, or horse. He can barely afford to pay for his gas and take you places. But on the bright side, he is a bouncing puppy dog. And puppies are cute and fun!
But before you decide that this is the puppy that you want to keep forever, let’s keep a few things in mind. The boy you are dating now is just a puppy. He has the emotional and physical maturity of a puppy. He thinks of little more than eating, playing with toys, sleeping, and licking and kissing girl puppies (c’mon, this is a family friendly blog…). He even bounces around like a puppy when he is around you.
And while he is cute in his own way, let’s not confuse him with Brad Pitt. Just like a puppy is cute because of his oversized paws and big floppy ears, your boyfriend is likely to be a little pimply, a little pencil-neck like. He probably has big oversized paws, too.
Now this puppy really likes you (even when he pretends not to—that’s part of playing that he’s so into). Like the puppy in the window at the pet store that is sure that every passerby is going to stop and take him home, your puppy has the same sort of stupid, ignorant faith in a warm smile.
And like a cuuute little puuupppy (insert image of you cuddling a little pooch), you love him very much and want to see him bounce around and wag his tail ferociously. You notice the more you stroke his head and pay attention to him, he wags his tail even more. Encouraged by this, you want to seal that bond by letting him know that you’ll take good care of him and make him happy. So, you might say something like, “I love you and I’ll wait for you to come back from your mission.”
Now that’s just mean—see Truth #1 for Young Men. He thinks that you’re going to wait for him. He’s a puppy, so he doesn’t know any better. You might figure, “this dumb little puppy is going to grow up one day and figure it out, isn’t he?” Unfortunately, he probably won’t.
Now, you aren’t obligated to wait for him. You can dump him. In many ways, it might be the best thing that you could do for him. First, he ought to be concentrating on what he’s doing (serving a mission hopefully); second, you need to go through at least one or two relationships before you get married. You’re probably his first steady girlfriend, so you’re going to help him go through the process.
Dumping him is good for you, too. We’ll discuss this in detail in later chapters, but you’re going to trade up to something better and you need a little time to refine and prepare, too. The good news for you is that the men you will choose from will have forgotten about being a puppy (and their experience of being dropped off at the pound by a girlfriend). In fact, they are eager to reap a revenge of sorts and marry someone just like you as soon as they can.
So, play with your puppy. Enjoy your puppy now because he won’t always be a cute, weird little fur ball. Don’t make him think you’re going to take him home from the pet store. And look forward to the day when you’ll find something worth keeping.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Truth #1 for YM about dating and marriage
She won’t wait for you; She won’t wait for him either
It’s such a timeless scene. The young, fresh faced 19 year old young man arrives at the airport ready to fly to the Missionary Training Center. He has been recently set apart as a missionary and is ready to take on the world. His parents, primary teachers, and young men’s leaders have prepared him for this day. He is ready to convert the world and bring salvation to Guatemala (or wherever he’s going).
As he makes his goodbyes to family and friends, he turns to his sweetheart and gives her the “handshake”. This handshake is unlike any other handshake that he has exchanged before. It lingers longer, its firmness is matched an intense tenderness. And while he longs to put his arms around her for one last embrace, he refrains and obeys the mission rules. He loves her (or so he thinks) and wants to be with her. He leaves her because he loves her and because she has declared that she will only marry an RM.
How does he manage this? How can he leave her? How can he resist putting his arms around her and kissing her one more time? He can do all of these things because of a promise: “I will wait for you”.
This is one of the most likely truths that young LDS men discover in dating and marriage—No, she probably won’t wait for you. Actually, let me put the highly likely truth right out there: She will NOT wait for you. I know what you’re thinking, “But she’s different!” Let my little green friend Yoda tell you: “Wait for you, she will not.”
The list of young men who have been Dear John’d is long and distinguished. It continues to grow each year. No matter how many times she tells you she loves you and awaits your return, no matter how many care packages she sends, no matter how often she writes you, she won’t make it.
The sad or frustrating thing about it is that she means it when she says it. Really, she is being sincere and wants to wait for you, but like an alcoholic let loose at a free Octoberfest celebration, she will fall off the wagon. Of course, you’ll find the occasional exception to this rule. But remember, my son, the title of this book isn’t 7 totally infallible truths; it’s 7 highly likely truths. So while your maternal grandfather and grandmother waited for each other, it probably ain’t going to happen for you. But don’t lose heart. It’s really not your fault.
Think of the environment she’s living in. She’s preparing herself to become a wife and mother. Over 250 times on Sunday at Young Women’s meetings (6 years * 40-some weeks of regular church meetings) she has recited the Young Women’s values which includes: "We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation." Said another way: “I am preparing to be a wife and mother—it’s my purpose in life.”
Her sisters, friends, and roommates are meeting RMs and getting married. She’s attending wedding showers and baby showers—she seeing the attention that those girls are getting right now. At best your offer is at least 24 months away; add in a possible wait of 1-9 months to proposal, and another 1-5 months to marriage and you are talking about 3 years from now. That’s an eternity to a young women (or young man for that matter). That’s like putting a meat snack on the floor and asking your bouncing puppy not to eat it all weekend long. Do you blame the puppy for eating it up?!?!?!? Of course not!
And in thinking about marrying you one day, she’s thinking about marriage in general and how much she wants that in her life. So your plans and intentions are contributing to your own downfall. It’s like a Greek tragedy and you're Oedipus (but in this case you’re not killing your father and marrying your mother).
So the best advice that we can give to you is to accept the highly likely truth. You can keep your girlfriend or you can dump her—just don’t lose your heart and mind to the delusion that you’ll be marrying her one day. If you can just accept that, you’ll be able to focus better on your mission and have a better opinion of women in general.
But here’s the good news buddy—when you get home you’ll be the guy who is convincing the lady of your choice that she shouldn’t wait for her missionary. It doesn’t take much for you to remove the other guy from her daily thoughts. The best way to succeed is to ask her out a bunch. Between her normal routine of either going to school or working (or both), she’ll now have to think about what to wear on those dates, and whether or not you’ll be a good kisser, and if you’re sufficiently similar to her dad, and telling her friends about her new boyfriend, etc. that she won’t have time to write to or think the other sap 6,189 miles away. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel! From what I’ve heard, the ones who are waiting are almost the easiest ones to snatch up. So, just be patient until you get home and then, “Happy Hunting!”
It’s such a timeless scene. The young, fresh faced 19 year old young man arrives at the airport ready to fly to the Missionary Training Center. He has been recently set apart as a missionary and is ready to take on the world. His parents, primary teachers, and young men’s leaders have prepared him for this day. He is ready to convert the world and bring salvation to Guatemala (or wherever he’s going).
As he makes his goodbyes to family and friends, he turns to his sweetheart and gives her the “handshake”. This handshake is unlike any other handshake that he has exchanged before. It lingers longer, its firmness is matched an intense tenderness. And while he longs to put his arms around her for one last embrace, he refrains and obeys the mission rules. He loves her (or so he thinks) and wants to be with her. He leaves her because he loves her and because she has declared that she will only marry an RM.
How does he manage this? How can he leave her? How can he resist putting his arms around her and kissing her one more time? He can do all of these things because of a promise: “I will wait for you”.
This is one of the most likely truths that young LDS men discover in dating and marriage—No, she probably won’t wait for you. Actually, let me put the highly likely truth right out there: She will NOT wait for you. I know what you’re thinking, “But she’s different!” Let my little green friend Yoda tell you: “Wait for you, she will not.”
The list of young men who have been Dear John’d is long and distinguished. It continues to grow each year. No matter how many times she tells you she loves you and awaits your return, no matter how many care packages she sends, no matter how often she writes you, she won’t make it.
The sad or frustrating thing about it is that she means it when she says it. Really, she is being sincere and wants to wait for you, but like an alcoholic let loose at a free Octoberfest celebration, she will fall off the wagon. Of course, you’ll find the occasional exception to this rule. But remember, my son, the title of this book isn’t 7 totally infallible truths; it’s 7 highly likely truths. So while your maternal grandfather and grandmother waited for each other, it probably ain’t going to happen for you. But don’t lose heart. It’s really not your fault.
Think of the environment she’s living in. She’s preparing herself to become a wife and mother. Over 250 times on Sunday at Young Women’s meetings (6 years * 40-some weeks of regular church meetings) she has recited the Young Women’s values which includes: "We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values, we will be prepared to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation." Said another way: “I am preparing to be a wife and mother—it’s my purpose in life.”
Her sisters, friends, and roommates are meeting RMs and getting married. She’s attending wedding showers and baby showers—she seeing the attention that those girls are getting right now. At best your offer is at least 24 months away; add in a possible wait of 1-9 months to proposal, and another 1-5 months to marriage and you are talking about 3 years from now. That’s an eternity to a young women (or young man for that matter). That’s like putting a meat snack on the floor and asking your bouncing puppy not to eat it all weekend long. Do you blame the puppy for eating it up?!?!?!? Of course not!
And in thinking about marrying you one day, she’s thinking about marriage in general and how much she wants that in her life. So your plans and intentions are contributing to your own downfall. It’s like a Greek tragedy and you're Oedipus (but in this case you’re not killing your father and marrying your mother).
So the best advice that we can give to you is to accept the highly likely truth. You can keep your girlfriend or you can dump her—just don’t lose your heart and mind to the delusion that you’ll be marrying her one day. If you can just accept that, you’ll be able to focus better on your mission and have a better opinion of women in general.
But here’s the good news buddy—when you get home you’ll be the guy who is convincing the lady of your choice that she shouldn’t wait for her missionary. It doesn’t take much for you to remove the other guy from her daily thoughts. The best way to succeed is to ask her out a bunch. Between her normal routine of either going to school or working (or both), she’ll now have to think about what to wear on those dates, and whether or not you’ll be a good kisser, and if you’re sufficiently similar to her dad, and telling her friends about her new boyfriend, etc. that she won’t have time to write to or think the other sap 6,189 miles away. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel! From what I’ve heard, the ones who are waiting are almost the easiest ones to snatch up. So, just be patient until you get home and then, “Happy Hunting!”
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