More on the Christmas truth

Sorry to all of our friends that I've now offended, but I had been trying to write that song myself. In the spirit of the song, I'd like to publish our family letter now:

Dear Friends,

This year has just been so much fun and action packed. We're sorry that we haven't been able to see you as much as we would like, but we've been really busy being a happier and more productive family than yours. Of couse, we'll fill you in on the all of the details.

Will, our hardworking breadwinner, not only impressed his boss and earned a major promotion and raise, he also discovered a cure for 3 types of cancer. And while that was a source of personal pride, he feels like his real accomplishment was rescuing 64 orphans from an orphanage in Mongolia. You see, he was able to teach the local Mongol famers how to produce a larger crop, so now those farmers can raise enough crops to feed their entire families and keep their children. But you'd hardly know it (unless you visit his Facebook, MySpace, Blogspot, or Twitter feeds...).

Melissa, our domestic diva, has been a busy housewife and mother. First, she was able to expand and include a small field of wheat, so we now can GROW and GRIND our own wheat. Next year she hopes to add a crop of quinoa. After that, she took some time to complete her PhD in astrophysics--it's been a hobby that she just wanted to put to bed for once and for all. Thanks to some self study, she made some discoveries and made some real progress on our geneaology. We're now tracked back 31 generations; not where she wants it to be, but she's confident that she'll get farther after she makes her visits to Ireland, Romania, and Iran to visit geneaology and antiquities libraries.

Ethan turned 8 and was baptized. He is really enjoying school. He has taken a likening to mathematics and after a little effort, was able to provide the proof for the Poincare Conjecture (it earned him a nomination for the Nobel Prize for Mathematics). Instead of a birthday party, he asked if we could donate a bunch of toys to a local shelter.

Madeliene really out did herself this year. Not only was she accepted to the National Ballet Academy, but she earned early admission to BYU, Yale, and Stanford. How she ever found time to volunteer to clean wild fowl who have been harmed by oil spills is beyond us!

Ashley turned 3 and really blossomed. After she finished reading Charlotte's Web all by herself, she informed the family that we are no longer eating pork--what a cutie! After her piano recital at Symphony Hall in Phoenix (where she played a Mozart and an Ashley-composed concerto), she led the family down the local blood bank for a family donation. She gave a whole pint!

Jacob may be the last in the family, but he is not the least. This year he learned to walk, play the Wii and become a Guitar Hero star. He enjoyed the music playing so much, we bought him a tiny violin and set him loose. While he can read music, he prefers to play by ear or compose his own songs...

We hope that all is well with you. You know that it will be well for us!